Mopping Around Is Better Than Moping Around

(We have finally bought a mop for our flat. My flat-mate decides to mop at nine pm. I watch her and we talk. She’s been upset about something and has been ranting about it. We have returned to the (very small) kitchen to re-mop it, despite having already spent 20 minutes in there.)

Flatmate: “And it makes me so angry!” *pauses and looks around* “Wow. When I’m upset, I clean a LOT.”

Me: “Yeah, I can see that. It’s so shiny in here. The kitchen doesn’t know what hit it.”

Flatmate: “It’s secretly glad for it. It’s weeping with joy.”

Me: “See, I was thinking the opposite. The kitchen’s been sitting here, thinking, ‘Yes, slowly but surely, I am infecting their feet.’ And you come along and say ‘F*** you, floor! You’re going down!'”

Flatmate: “Wait until the next time I’m angry. The entire FLAT won’t know what hit it.”

(She’s cheered up a bit but the kitchen has never looked better!)