Moon Over My Chevy

(I work as a waitress in a small restaurant where the owner is the cook. We see a van pull in, so the owner/cook goes to the kitchen to get things ready. However, after several minutes, no one comes inside so the owner comes back out.)

Owner: “I guess they’re meeting someone.”

Me: “Yeah… oh, wait. There’s a kid.”

(I watch from behind the register as a young boy, probably 5 years old, walks in front of their van and just stands there, facing the car. I look away for a second to see if another has pulled in and when I look back I see the boy’s bare butt.)

Me: “What is he doing? Changing clothes?”

Owner: “No, I think he’s flashing us.”

Me: “What?!” *I stand on my tippy toes to see more clearly* “Oh no! No!”

Owner: “What? What’s he doing?”

Me: “He’s PEEING on the hood of their car!”

(Sure enough, instead of bring their kid inside to use the bathroom before they ordered food, the parents must have figured their hood was good enough. I’d hate to be their mechanic!)