Money Talks, But It Should Shut Up

I’m a financial adviser and have a client with a relatively small sum invested with me and a substantially larger sum invested with someone else.

Client: “My other investment with [Someone Else] grew by $30,000 in the past year! Yours only grew by $10,000!”

Me: “Hmm, after calculating the performance, mine is giving you double-digit returns whilst the other investment is only giving you 3%.”

Client: “That’s not good enough! I still made more with the other guy! What do you have to say for yourself?”

Me: “That it really is for the best that you leave investing your money to the professionals.”