Money Makes The World Go Round

| Working | January 23, 2015

(After graduating college, I am unable to find full-time work in a bad economy and take the first job that I am offered. It doesn’t pay very well and unfortunately, there are quite a few weeks where I am assigned to work ten hours or less. I am looking for another job, but have to deal with bill collectors more often that I would like. This one in particular takes the cake. After ten minutes into the conversation, she begins making suggestions as to how I can give her more money.)

Bill Collector: “I see you’ve been making payments to us, but they’re smaller than the minimum.”

Me: “Yes. While I’d like to pay you more, I’m afraid I’m not making much at all right now, and that’s the most I can give you for the time being.”

Bill Collector: “Can you borrow money from your parents?”

Me: “No, my stepfather has been out of work for more than a year, and my mother is supporting them both, plus my disabled brother, on one income. They do not have money to lend me.”

(I can hear the frustration in her voice. I think she must get some kind of bonus for getting people to make payments, because her next suggestion makes me think she’s grasping at straws.)

Bill Collector: “Well… you could collect bottles and cans for redemption value, and all the money you get from that, you could give to us.”

Me: “I already return my bottles and cans, ma’am. I use that money to buy toilet paper when I don’t have the funds for that sort of thing.”

(There’s silence as she tries to think of other ways that she could get money from me, rather than just accept the smaller monthly amount as a good-faith payment until I am earning enough to make the minimum and beyond. I wonder if she’s hung up the phone, when she suddenly barks in frustration:)

Bill Collector: “You just need a job that pays more!”

(It took all of my willpower not to sarcastically reply that she had solved all of my problems forever.)

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