Mom Thinks Your Problem Is Licked

(One teacher sends drug dogs to do a search at my high school. I have undiagnosed autism and bipolar disorder. The mere idea of anyone, even a dog, touching my backpack is enough to freak me out for days. My mom is also a teacher there.)

Mom: “Don’t worry. The dogs didn’t actually sniff anything. It was just practice.”

Me: *pulls out my breakfast* “Well, someone licked the cream cheese on my bagel.”

(My mom continued to insist no one had been in the bags. I got another breakfast.)