Mom Makes A Beneficial Discovery

| Related | August 22, 2013

(I’m on the phone with my mom, who has been dating a guy for a while before she broke up with him. They are casually seeing each other now, and telling me about it.)

Me: “So, how would you describe your relationship?”

Mom: “I guess I’d say we’re friends with benefits.”

Me: “What?!”

Mom: “Yeah, I think that would describe us pretty well.”

Me: “You do know what friends with benefits means, right?”

Mom: *offended* “Of course I do!”

Me: “Okay, okay. Just don’t tell me any more about it. I don’t want to know that part of your relationship.”

Mom: “What? Why not?”

Me: “I don’t want to think about my mother having sex!”

Mom: “Huh? Why would I be having sex?”

Me: “Because you’re friends with benefits? No strings attached? F***-buddies?”

Mom: “Wait, friends with benefits doesn’t mean you aren’t dating but you go hang out together?”

Me: “No, mom, it doesn’t…”

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