Mom Has The Skinny On You Both

(My mother is also my primary care physician. After having sex, I notice an uncomfortable sensation… down there. I talk to my mom and she diagnoses it as a yeast infection. We have a talk about sex hygiene and then sex in general, as we have always been open about the subject.)

Me: “Yes, [Boyfriend] was really a virgin when I met him.”

Mom: *very seriously* “Did he know where things are supposed to go?”

Me: “…yes, Mom. See, there’s this thing called the internet and a goodly portion of it is made up of—”

Mom: “Haha, yes, yes, yes.” *pauses a moment* “BWAHAHAHAHA!”

Me: “Now what?”

Mom: “You two are such skinny people! So much chafing!”