Modern Children Are Superfluous

(The college society I’m part of is open to non-students, who often bring their kids to craft nights. We’re working on banners when the adults joke about child labor. I’m not particularly fond of one of the kids that are helping.)

Friend: “[Younger Child] would be perfect for going up chimneys!”

Kid: “What?!”

Kid’s Mom: “Back in Victorian times they used to send children up the chimneys with a brush to clean them, because they had no central heating and the fire was lit everyday.”

Kid: *indignant* “Why didn’t they just put the brush up the chimney?”

Me: “It was too short and narrow.”

Kid’s Mom: “The chimneys were really wide and funny-shaped because rich people had fireplaces in every room.”

Kid: “Well why didn’t they get a ladder and go up on the roof?”

Me: “They didn’t have big enough ladders.”

Kid: “Well why didn’t they just build one?!”

Me: “Kids are cheaper…”