Mixed Smoke Signals

In the UK, when I was a kid (born in the 70s here), it was common for kids to be able to buy cigarettes. In fact, it was common for adults to send their kids to the local shop with a shopping list, with cigarettes being a common item among them.

I recall overhearing my older brother come home from being sent to the shops by my dad:

Dad: “[Brother’s Name], where are my ciggies?”

Brother: “They didn’t have any.”

Dad: “None at all?”

Brother: “You said to get Woodbines, but if they didn’t have that, then get something else.”

Dad: “And?”

Brother: “They didn’t have Woodbines.”

Dad: “So where’s my something else?”

Brother: “Right there.”

Dad: “That’s a pork pie.”

Brother: “Yes. That’s something else.”