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Misteaken Cowmprehension

| Working | May 29, 2013

(I’m a new waitress at a vegetarian restaurant.)

Me: “Hello sir, are you ready to order?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you. Could I get a medium rare steak with peppercorn sauce and a side of chips please?”

Me: “I’m very sorry sir, but we don’t serve steak. In fact, I don’t think we ever have. This is a vegetarian restaurant.”

Customer: “Really? Oh, what a shame. Do you mind if I see the specials again please?”

Me: “Certainly sir. They’re written on the back of our menus. I’ll just go and fetch you one.”

(I get him a menu. When I return, I see the owner’s daughter, who is also my co-worker, taking his order.)

Owner’s Daughter: “So, that was a medium rare steak with peppercorn sauce and a side of chips?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Owner’s Daughter: “Certainly sir—”

Me: “Wait, [co-worker], we don’t sell steak. This is a vegetarian restaurant.”

Owner’s Daughter: “No, we’ve always sold steak!”

Me: “But this is a vegetarian restaurant. You can’t!”

Owner’s Daughter: “Yes! This is a vegetarian restaurant and yes we sell meat!”

Me: “So, let me get this straight: you’re claiming this is a vegetarian restaurant that sells meat?!”

Owner’s Daughter: “Yes, finally! Now finish this man’s order whilst I clean up that table.”

Me: “But… never mind.”

(I finish taking the customer’s order, and sure enough his steak arrives. I speak to the owner. Turns out that his daughter didn’t know what vegetarian meant, and he didn’t have the heart to tell her! I quit a short while after that when an actual vegetarian restaurant opened across the street. Within a few weeks, the ‘vegetarian’ restaurant was out of business.)