Mission Impoppable

I’m working the checkout when a dad (wearing a hoodie) comes through with three kids and a shopping cart full of plumbing supplies. The kids all look like they’re trying very hard not to laugh. I start scanning everything.

Me: “Did you find everything okay today?”

Dad: “Unfortunately, yes.”

I finish ringing everything through.

Me: “All right, is that everything?”

The dad sighs heavily, reaches up, and pulls down the hood of his hoodie. There’s a rubber plunger cup firmly attached to the top of his bald head. Not the handle. Just the rubber cup.

The kids immediately lose it.

Kid #1: “Tell her how it happened!”

Dad: “I made the mistake of trusting you, that’s how it happened.”

Me: *Trying not to laugh.* “…Do I even want to ask?”

Dad: “They thought it would be funny to stick a plunger to my head while I was comparing pipe fittings.”

Kid #2: “It WAS funny. It IS funny!”

Dad: “Then they tried to pull it off, and the handle detached.”

The kids are now bent over the cart, laughing.

Kid #1: “It made a popping noise!”

Me: “Have you tried twisting it?”

Dad: “For many minutes. So… since I can’t NOT leave with it, and I’m teaching my children that we don’t steal, here we are paying for it. But…” *Stares at his children with a sinister grin.* “…it’s coming out of your allowances.”

Both kids did a simultaneous “nooooo” as the dad bent over and let me scan his head.

He was back next week, and when we saw each other, he told me he was able to remove it finally, using some warm water and patience.