Misses The Days When Coffee Was Just Coffee

, | Related | November 17, 2015

(My parents and sisters and I are going through the drive-thru of a well-known chain coffee shop, which had just begun its fall flavour promotion. My dad is the driver, and thus the one talking to the barista.)

Dad: *as we’re waiting in the line* “Okay, what’s everyone getting?”

(My mom and I give simple orders, but my sisters love to customize their orders.)

Sister #1: “Nonfat, no sugar, pumpkin spice latte with an extra shot.”

Sister #2: “Same thing.”

Dad: “Okay, wait. A no fat, non-sugar what?”

(At this moment, our turn to order has come, and my sisters are retelling their order when the barista starts speaking.)

Barista: “Welcome to [Shop]. What can I get for you today?”

Dad: “Hi, I’ll get a coffee and—”

Barista: “What size coffee?”

Dad: “Med—”

Sister #1: “Dad, they don’t go by those sizes. You want a grande.”

(My dad is getting quite flustered by this point, but he tells the barista he wants grande, then gives my mom’s and my orders.)

Dad: “And two no-fat, extra shot, pumpkin—”

Sister #2: “No! Non-fat, no sugar!”

Dad: “Two nonfat, no sugar, extra shot, pumpkin space latte—”

(At this point my mom and sisters and I all started laughing hysterically at the mispronunciation, and my poor flustered dad had to shout to finish the order. I don’t know how the poor barista got our orders right, but my dad swore he would never go through a drive-thru with us again.)

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