Missed It By A (Lan)yard

I went to a technology store in a mall. The workers in this store do not have a uniform. They have to keep up a fairly good appearance, clean shoes, no profanity and such on shirts, and they are presentable, but otherwise, they just have a casual attire. The one thing to distinguish that they work there is these bright, yellow, neon lanyards.

I went in the store by myself to look at the headphones, listen to the music playing on them to see if they’re a good fit and how they sound, and then delicately put them back. I’m wearing a gray shirt and black pants, which just so happens to be the attire of someone else who’s working currently, but I didn’t know this until later.

I was approached by this woman who gave me a stern look. I thought maybe she just wanted to test the headphones, too, and moved to another shelf.

Woman: “Excuse me?!”

I didn’t know she was talking to me, so I kept looking at the current shelf until I got two hard taps on my shoulder.

Woman: “EXCUSE ME?!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Am I in your way?”

Woman: “I need some assistance.”

Me: “Assistance?”

Woman: “YES!”

Me: “Did you need some help with some headphones?”

Woman: “NO! I need to look at this camera on the display shelf.”

I looked behind her and see the display shelf.

Me: “You’ll need someone to open it up for you. There’s a worker over there.”

I pointed at a worker standing next to the computers, chatting to a customer, and resumed browsing.

Woman: “EXCUSE ME?! DO YOUR JOB!”

Me: “My… job?”

Woman: “YES! WHERE IS YOUR LANYARD?! DON’T YOU PEOPLE WEAR LANYARDS?! I SAW YOU EARLIER AND YOU WERE WEARING A LANYARD!”

Admittedly, I was kind of confused. I’m a cleaner at a hotel, and the master key I use is on a lanyard which I never take off at work, but I had traveled two hours away from home and the hotel to this mall.

Me: “Do… you know me?”

She went red, and her eyes bulged so large that I thought they were going to fall out.

Woman: “WHY WOULD I KNOW YOU?! YOU WORK IN SOME COMPUTER STORE AND ARE WASTING MY TIME! GET YOUR LANYARD! WHERE IS IT?!”

Of course, this scene got the eyes and ears of other customers and a worker — a worker wearing a gray shirt, black pants, and a lanyard.

Worker: “Is everything okay over here?”

Woman: “I WANT THI—”

She turned and stopped mid-sentence. She turned back to me, face red and eyes bulging, and then turned back to the worker.

Let me tell you, the worker and I looked nothing alike. I’m much shorter than him, my skin is slightly darker, and my hair is what I like to call a contained mess while his actually knew what a hairbrush was. We both were just wearing a similar outfit.

Woman: “But… I…”

Worker: “Do you need help with something?”

She didn’t even reply. She just walked past me and left the store. The worker asked if everything was okay and I explained. We both had a laugh out of it, and he rang me up and I left with my new headphones.