Minimizing The Screen Leads To Maximum Aggravation

I work in the children’s department of the local library, specializing in presenting storytimes for our youngest patrons. However, occasionally, tech questions get thrown my way. I am rather tech-savvy and can at least navigate all the digital services the library offers.

One morning, a “gentleman” walks in to print concert tickets from his phone — which is a service we offer. Things go well at first. The tickets are on his phone’s hard drive, and he knows exactly where to pull them up from — so many patrons never know where things are stored.

I then tell him to close or minimize his download folder and open up his Internet browser. He looks at me like I’ve sprouted three heads.

Patron: “I don’t know how to do that.”

Me: “Just minimize your folder by pressing that square. Or close it out by pressing the X.”

Patron: “Ugh! I just want to print my tickets! You do it!”

He tries to shove his phone into my hands. I take two steps backward.

Me: “I’m sorry. We’re not allowed to touch other people’s devices because of the liability and for health reasons.”

Patron: “And that’s more bulls***!”

He tries pushing his phone on me again.

Me: “I can’t touch your device. All you need to do is close the current display.”

Patron: “Like this?”

He swipes, and the My Downloads folder vanishes so I can see his home screen.

Me: “Yes, that’s perfect. Now click on Google Chrome to open it.”

Patron: “I don’t see why you can’t just do this.”

Me: “Tap underneath the word ‘Google’ and type in [URL to the library’s website].”

This will allow us to access our website’s embedded printing app, so that his phone will then communicate with our printers.

Patron: *Scoffs* “And I suppose you’re not going to do this for me, either!”

After he enters the URL, Chrome displays a “Failed to Connect” error message.

Me: “It looks like you’re not connected to the Internet. Minimize Chrome so we can connect to our Wi-Fi.”

Patron: “I don’t know what any of that means! I don’t know how to do any of that s***! I just want to print my tickets!”

He again tries shoving his phone at me.

Me: “You just need to minimize the screen like you did before. Then we’ll connect you to the Wi-Fi.”

Patron: “This is bulls***! You’re bulls***! I’m done with this!”

Me: “It’s not really my fault you don’t know how to use your phone.”

He storms to the front desk and starts complaining loud enough about me that I can hear him clear in the children’s department. He lies, saying I was calling him “an idiot” and treating him like a child.

I walk up to the front desk since clearly, this involves me.

Me: “Sir, would you like to talk to me about this?”

Patron: “Get away from me! Get out of my face! I’m done with you and your bulls***!”

I am still six feet away.

Manager: “I’ll find someone else to help you. There should be someone upstairs. This way.”

Patron: “You’d better find someone! All I want is to print my d*** tickets!”

Me: “If you just minimize your screen, we can have you connected to the Internet and your tickets printed up in thirty seconds.”

Patron: *Does the “talk to the hand” motion* “Get out of my face; I’m done with you!”

Manager: *Trying to get the patron to leave the area* “There might be someone upstairs. Follow me.”

The patron refused to move and started fiddling with his phone. He actually managed to minimize Chrome with no sweat whatsoever! It took the manager urging him three more times before he followed her.

I later learned that the only person on duty upstairs was our eldest reference librarian. She admits herself to not being tech-savvy and doesn’t even own a smartphone.

About ten minutes later, the man charged downstairs, threw the door open wide, and stalked down the street. Considering he never went near the printers, I doubt he ever got his concert tickets printed.