Mind Over Monitor

I worked in software that typically uses two to four large monitors. I’m installing some basic software updates when the user asks:

User: “Can you make it easier to get the mouse arrow thingy to the other screens?”

Me: “We can adjust the Windows settings to accelerate your mouse movement.”

User: “No! I don’t want to have to move the mouse. I just want it to show up on the other screen when I need it.”

Me: “I can make a shortcut key to move the mouse. Control 1 for the first monitor, control 2 for the second, and so on.”

User: “I don’t want to press any keys.”

Me: “How would you like to tell the computer which screen you want the mouse cursor to be on?”

User: *Blank stare for two seconds.* “So you can’t do anything?”

Me: “Sorry, the mind-reading module won’t be released until version 6.66.”