Milton Goes To The Buffet

(I’m a cashier at a buffet restaurant. A customer walks up and is kinda twitchy. We go through the transaction and I am about to staple the receipt to the ticket…)

Customer: “NO! DON’T STAPLE! DON’T STAPLE! I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU STAPLE MY TICKET…!”

Me: “Uh, okay, sir, I won’t staple it for you…”

(All of a sudden, the customer calms down. He smiles, and walks away, only to later approach me again.)

Customer: “Ma’am, I think there is a problem in your bathrooms.”

Me: “Okay, what is the problem?”

Customer: “Well, in the men’s bathroom the left… left… faucet has very… very… poor water pressure.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I will come in again, and if you have not fixed this problem by then, I’m afraid I’m going to have to speak with a manager.”

Me: “Okay, sir. I will let a manager know.”

Customer: “Please do so… immediately.”

Me: “Immediately.”

Customer: *smiles a creepy smile and walks away*