Milk Sure Has Changed Since My Day

(My little brother is a toddler. The whole family has gone out for the day and we’ve stopped at a diner for dinner. Right next to the table my parents get, there is a little kids’ table where both my brothers sit. The waiter comes over to take our order. The kid is maybe eighteen.)

Waiter: “What would you like to drink?”

Brother: “Hmm… I would wike… a beer!”

Waiter: *blinks and side eyes my parents* “Um, does he mean root beer?”

Mom: “No. He thinks he wants a beer.”

Waiter: “Um, should I bring it to him?”

Mom: “No!” *looks at my brother* “You can have milk or apple juice.”

Brother: “Milk!”

(The waiter took the rest of our orders and left. We laughed. My brother really did want a beer, although it was just because he was mimicking my dad, as toddlers do. To this day, every so often when someone takes drink orders, someone will say, “I would wike… a beer!”)