Might Not Be The Breast Place

(I’m working at the ticket desk at a museum. After visitors pay, we give them each a sticker to wear so security knows they’ve checked in. A couple with a few young kids have just finished paying.)

Me: “Here are some stickers for you all to wear; that way security knows you paid.”

Husband: “Can we put them anywhere?”

Me: “Yes, just so long as it’s visible.”

Husband: *to his wife, grinning* “Hold still. I need to put this on you.”

Wife: “What are you–”

Husband: *firmly plants the sticker on her breast, prodding it a few times*

Wife: *rolling her eyes* “Really?!”

Husband: “I had to make sure it was secure! And besides, the guy at the desk looked bored.” *gives me a thumbs-up*

Me: *awkward silence*