Might Not Be A Veteran But Is Always Starting A War

(I’m at a home improvement store to return some paint after deciding the color didn’t look right. I get in line behind an older man with a cart full of paint. He has four one-gallon cans and one quart can. I have no idea why he is in the return line, as colored paint is non-returnable. The clerk calls for the next person and it is his turn. He tells the clerk that one of the one-gallon cans is empty and only there as a color match — odd because you really only need the lid. She begins to ring up his items for sale when he tells her he’s a veteran.)

Clerk: “Okay, I’ll need your service photo ID.”

Customer: *starts fumbling through his wallet* “I don’t have it with me. But I have…”

(He empties his wallet of all kinds of cards onto the return desk, none of which are the requested ID.)

Clerk: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have to have the photo ID. It is our policy so I can apply the discount.”

Customer: “I have this card, this card, this card…”

Clerk: “Sir, it has to be their photo ID.”

Customer: *still pushing other cards at her*

Clerk: “Sir, if you want me to apply the 5% discount, I have to see your service card with a photo ID.”

Customer: *now getting agitated, begins to make exaggerated gestures to the regular checkouts on the other end of the store* “Well, they applied it last time and I didn’t have it.”

Clerk: “Whoever it was shouldn’t have.”

Customer: “Ma’am, I’m a veteran. I served my country. I did my time. Why would I lie about my service? I served my country.”

(This sounds like a scam. I want to say, “Why would you lie about being a veteran? Oh, I don’t know… maybe for a 5% discount?”)

Clerk: “I can’t apply the discount without the ID.”

Customer: *goes into a full, loud rant and throws his credit card at her, accepting that he’ll have to pay the full price* “This is disgraceful! Disgraceful. I’m going to call in a complaint. I will.”

Clerk: “Certainly, sir. Please sign here.”

Customer: “Disgraceful. I’m going to complain about you!”

Clerk: “Okay, sir.” *directs her attention to the line that has grown behind me* “Next.”

(I state my transaction while he is leaving. Once he’s gone:)

Me: “Did you want me to put a call in to counter his complaint?”

Clerk: *laughs* “No, it’s all right.”

(I did, anyway. It was probably an empty threat, but I didn’t want her to get in trouble for upholding policy.)