Microchips For Microbrains

The PlayStation 5 has recently come out, and due to supply issues, it is almost impossible to get one. I get a lot of calls asking when they’ll be in stock, but one stands out more than the others.

Caller: “You got any PS5s?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t. Whenever we get them in, they sell out very fast, and due to supply issues—”

Caller: “Yeah, I saw that on the news. Disgusting! I hear we get all our chips from Taiwan! Taiwan! This is America, and we shouldn’t be getting our stuff from communist countries!”

Ignoring the fact that Taiwan isn’t communist, I try to reason with him.

Me: “Yeah, I read about that, but sadly, the chipsets that the PS5 runs on can only come from there so—”

Caller: “We should be able to make them here! Can’t you make them at your store?”

Me: “You’re asking our retail store to make the chips required to run a PS5?”

Caller: “I did this s*** in high school! All you need is a soldering iron and a steady hand.”

Me: “Sir, there are about ten-billion transistors in a PS5.”

Caller: *Pause* “Very steady hands, then!”

My manager was required to explain to him that a gaming store in the USA was not capable of replicating the output of a multi-billion-dollar microprocessor industry in Taiwan.