Michael Buyers

, , | Right | October 31, 2019

(It’s Friday night, and the new “Halloween” has just come out. It’s been selling out nearly every screening, to the point we’ve had to steal showtimes from other movies. We have six screens playing it in between 7:00 and 8:00 pm, with each one either sold out or near sold out. Despite being hectic, things have gone relatively smoothly for most of the hour. It’s just me and one other person at the box office, and we’ve reached the last “Halloween” showtime of the hour. Suddenly, an adult man dressed as the serial killer Michael Myers from the film walks in, in full costume and mask. He gets up to me in line. At this point, the final showtime for the hour is down to only about four seats left.)

Me: “Hey there! I’m assuming you’re here for Halloween?

(The customer doesn’t speak, but instead starts imitating a peculiar “head tilt” that the character does in the original “Halloween” film. I chuckle.)

Me: “That’s great! Anywho, is it just going to be one? That showtime is almost sold out, so seating is limited, but we should be able to squeeze you in.”

(Again, the customer doesn’t speak, and continues to do sort of charades of various things Michael does in the film.)

Me: “Um… Okay. So, just one ticket, or…?”

(Again, he doesn’t speak and continues to pretend to be Michael. He lifts a plastic knife into the air, mock-stabbing it towards me.)

Me: “Okay, Mikey… So, one ticket?”

(Take a guess… no response. This continues on for about thirty seconds as I try a few more times to get him to respond. I glance down and see that the other box office worker has sold the last few seats for the film.)

Me: “Sorry, Mike… looks like the film just sold out.”

(I then witnessed the funniest thing I’d seen in some time: an adult man dressed as Michael Myers blurting out a string of muffled vulgarities under his mask as he realized he’d missed his opportunity, before slowly walking away with his head down and his shoulders hunched, looking utterly defeated. I admire your dedication, Michael… but sometimes the novelty of dressing up isn’t worth it if you’re going to miss the movie.)

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