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Methodist And The Madness

| Learning | August 8, 2013

(I go to a private, Christian School, where most of the classes are centered around the Bible. Because of this, the Bible class is considered the most important, and is very hard to pass. Our Bible teacher has views that conflict with what most of us have been taught. The class contains students that are from different church denominations.)

Bible Teacher: “Today, class, I have decided that we will have a question day. You can ask me any questions you may have about the Bible, and I will do my best to answer them.”

(I raise my hand.)

Bible Teacher: “Yes, [my name]?”

Me: “This past Sunday, my church had a visiting pastor, who mentioned that Dante’s Inferno paints a similar picture of not only Hell, but also of the world we live in now—”

Bible Teacher: “Whoa, I’m gonna stop you there. Only a Methodist would say that. I think we all know where Methodists are going after they die.” *points downwards*

(The Bible Teacher then launches into a big rant about how Methodism is a Satanic cult, and so on.)

Bible Teacher: “Now, class, I want to get to know you better. Let’s go around the room and share what denomination we are.”

(After a few students have their turn, it is now my turn to speak.)

Me: “I’m a Methodist.”

Bible Teacher: “It’s not nice to lie to me. I know you’re only joking. What are you really?”

Me: “I really am a Methodist, sir.”

Bible Teacher: “Look, I like you. You do well on my tests, and ask good questions. I refuse to believe that my star pupil is going to Hell.”

Me: “Sir, I really am a Methodist. If you can’t accept the fact that you have a different denomination than me, and contradict my views, I might as well not even come to this class. I come to learn, and today, I learned that I am going to Hell. And you know what? I’m okay with that. See you there.”

(The Bible Teacher is infuriated, and is about to explode.)

Bible Teacher: “In the hall now. You don’t deserve my knowledge.”

(Right as I am about to go, another student stands up.)

Student: “Sir, I’m also a Methodist. Should I go into the hall, too?”

Bible Teacher: “Yes, go. If anybody else is one, just go ahead and leave.”

(I am out in the hall, when the student comes out. Then another one. And another. Soon the entire class in the hall, and only the teacher is left in the room. We report him, and he ends up getting fired for what he told me.)

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