Melt Your Hands, Bleach Your Brain

We are currently in the middle of Big Viral Outbreak 2020, and my office is one of the few still open and “fully” functional — in quotes because there’s always someone out in quarantine, folks working from home, cubicles emptied and rearranged for social distancing, etc.

We’ve got an overall open floor plan with low, glass cubicle walls, and during slow periods in the afternoon, there’s a bit of chatting. During one such time, this gem occurs.

Coworker #1: “Yeah, my hands have just been so dry and itchy lately.”

Coworker #2: “I know! Just constantly washing my hands and everything, it’s terrible.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, I can’t get up and wash my hands every ten minutes, so I’ve just been using these disinfecting wipes.”

Me: “Wait, what? Which wipes?”

She holds up a pack of disinfecting wipes. A mixture of laughter and shocked noises erupts.

Coworker #3: “Well, that could be why your hands are so messed up!”

Coworker #1: “What?! It’s just sanitizer, like Purell!”

Me: “No, it’s bleach. Congratulations, you’ve melted your skin!”

We finally got her convinced that “hand sanitizer” and “surface disinfectant” were different things, and not to use bleach wipes on her hands.