Melon-Chronic

(I am a student employee at my university’s dining hall. My supervisor, a fellow student, is slicing melons for the salad bar.)

Supervisor: “You know, I’m actually deathly allergic to cantaloupe and honeydew.”

Me: “Really? By consumption, or any contact?”

Supervisor: “Well, if any of the juice gets on my skin I start to get hives.”

Me: “So… that’s got to be a real fun job for you right now.”

Supervisor: “Yep. Of course, I’ve never actually tested it. I’ve always thought of going to the ER and eating cantaloupe in the waiting room just to see what would happen.”

Me: “Well, that’s one way to do it. You’d go to the ER, eat cantaloupe, and if you start dying, you’d be in the right place!”

Supervisor: “Exactly!”

(A few minutes later, she picks up half of a huge honeydew melon. She holds it up over her head and yells to another coworker.)

Supervisor: “Look at the size of this melon! I could wear it as a hat!”

Me: “Except you’d probably die.”

Supervisor: “Yeah, probably.”