Medium Rare Is Rarely Right

One of our servers has by far the most customer complaints. We all get some complaints from customers, because, well, customers (you read this site, you get it). But this server gets so many that my boss figures something is up.

Boss: “[Server], the table sent their steaks back again. They told me they wanted medium rare, but the cooks say you wrote down medium well.”

Server: “Yeah, because that’s what they always mean when they say medium rare. The customers never actually know what they want.”

Boss: “If they didn’t know what they wanted, how come they knew that their steak was medium well?”

Server: “Well, there’s always an exception to the rule.”

Boss: “You get a lot more exceptions than everyone else around here.”

Server: “Look, my job is more than just writing orders down. I have to translate what the customers really mean.”

Boss: “No, your job is to transcribe, not translate. Stop doing whatever it is you’re doing.”

Server: “Sure, whatever.”

I am dealing with a table that’s close to one of his, and I overhear the following:

Customer: “Can I get the steak rare? Bluer the better?”

Server: “Sure.”

Curious, I go over to the screen in the kitchen where the orders from our pads get sent, and I see he has “translated” the order as “medium rare”. I tell the boss.

Boss: “Server, what did I say!?”

Server: “I told you, my job is to translate what the customer really means!”

Boss: “Well, allow me to translate your employment status as “former.” Get out.”

I quickly took over his tables that night. The order had been intercepted, so the chef was able to prepare the steak as blue as ever, and the customer loved it. I guess I’m good at this translating thing!