McSatiated

I worked at a McDonald’s right next to a nightclub. We were open 24/7, so we’d get loads of fully drunk people coming out of the club and into the place in hordes, some having more difficulty saying their order than others.

A drunk guy shouts and slurs:

Customer: “I want… two twenty-nugget meals! That’s… that’s… forry! I want forry nuggets! And nine sauces!”

Me: “Uh, tell you what. Eat twenty first, and once done, order another twenty. I promise you won’t need to queue up again if you want that second box of twenty.”

Customer: “No! I want forry nuggets! Two twenty!”

He insisted, so I rang him up for two. When he was struggling to finish the first box, he stormed back over to the counters:

Customer: “You sabotaged me!”

Me: “No, sir, we just know what the average appetite looks like.”

Customer: “My appetite is never satiated! Never! But I have been satiated! You have satiated me! SATIATED! You must have poisoned the first batch of nuggets! You poisoned me with a satiating agent! I can’t believe you satiated me!”

He stands up and wobbly storms to the exit. He shouts at the customers still wandering in:

Customer: “Don’t eat here! They will SATIATE you!”

Other Drunk Customer: “I bloody well hope so, mate!”

For the rest of the morning, our shift would shout to each other, “Get those fries ready, extra satiating!” and so on…

We also laughed that he couldn’t say ‘forty’ clearly, but ‘satiated’ came through loud and clear…