Maybe You Should Belt It Out Louder
(The immigration office requires visitors to undergo a security screening of all bags and miscellaneous items like phones, wallets, etc., similar to an airport screening procedure. I enter the building first; my husband comes in to join me after having found a place to park.)
Security Worker #1: “Put your bags, keys, phone, wallet, and belt in the tray.”
Husband: *places his bag, keys, phone, and wallet in the tray*
Security Worker #1: “Make sure your belt is in the tray.”
Husband: “I don’t have a belt.”
Security Worker #1: “You need to put it in the tray.”
Husband: “There’s no belt.”
Security Worker #1: “No belt?”
Husband: “No belt.”
Security Worker #1: *confused, looks again in tray* “The belt needs to go in the tray.”
Husband: *lifting his sweater and displaying the drawstring* “I have this. I don’t need a belt.”
Security Worker #1: *stares* “No belt?”
Husband: “No belt.”
Security Worker #1: “Okay, go through.”
Husband: *continues to the metal detector, manned by [Security Worker #2]*
Security Worker #2: *looks in tray* “Did you make sure to take your belt off?”
Husband: “I have no belt.”
Security Worker #2: *somewhat incredulously* “No belt?”
Husband: “No belt.”
Security Worker #2: *to [Security Worker #1]* “No belt?”
Security Worker #1: “No belt.”
(As it turns out, we need some extra documents to process our request, so we go home to retrieve said documents. Upon our return, I have my husband wait outside and opt to leave almost everything with him in order to simplify the screening process. I enter the building carrying only my phone, wallet, and the requested paperwork. I place these three items in the tray.)
Security Worker #3: “Your keys, too, ma’am.”
Me: “I don’t have keys.”
Security Worker #3: “Your keys.”
Me: *thinking maybe I somehow misheard* “Did you say my keys, or…?”
Security Worker #3: “Your keys. Like your car keys? They need to go in the tray.”
Me: “I’m not carrying any keys.”
Security Worker #3: “No keys?”
Me: “I didn’t bring any with me today. I have no keys on me.” *patting down empty pockets for emphasis*
(Pause.)
Security Worker #3: “No keys?”
Me: *sigh*
Question of the Week
Tell us your story about a customer who couldn't understand the most simple concept.
