Maybe The Weather Channel Is Hiring?

As a result of a childhood accident, I have steel rods fused to my spine. I’ve been this way for over thirty years and am quite used to being in continuous low levels of pain. However, if the barometer shifts dramatically (such as with thunderstorms or blizzards), my pain levels amplify.

It is February 2016, and the local weather forecasters are predicting a minor snowstorm at the end of the week, with every news outlet assuring us that we shouldn’t expect more than two or three inches. The storm is expected to hit on Saturday, but as early as Tuesday, I can tell that something is very wrong. I don’t normally feel a storm THAT far in advance, but my pain levels are steadily creeping upwards and I just know that they are wrong.

I plan my own weekend accordingly — getting in some extra supplies, taking care of any chores that require leaving the apartment, and making sure I have a full tank of gas — and meanwhile keep urging my friends, coworkers, and customers at my store to ignore the forecast and brace for something really bad. Some of them take me relatively seriously.

The universal response I receive from those who don’t is, “But all the weathermen agree it’s going to be a little thing! You’re exaggerating/overreacting!”

Saturday morning rolls around. I wake up and my spine is on fire. I make it to the door of my first-floor apartment and slowly open it to find that there is at least six inches of snow on the ground and blizzard conditions are in effect. I turn on the local news to find that most area businesses, including my store, are closed or in the process of closing, and a state of emergency has been declared. My boss calls to thank me for convincing him to prepare for the storm, and I have quite a few apologies waiting when I log into Facebook!

By the time the storm ends on Sunday evening, we have gotten close to thirty inches of snow. A week later, one of my coworkers returns after a trip and asks us about the storm, which she completely missed while visiting her daughter down south.

Other Coworker: “It was terrible! And the worst part is that absolutely no one knew how bad it was going to be — except for [My Name]. She tried to warn everyone that she felt it coming!”

Worst superpower ever.