Maybe That’s Why They’re Still Single

(I’ve just returned from vacation during which my boyfriend proposed to me. I go tell my coworker who shares an office with another guy.)

Me: “[Coworker #1]! I got engaged at the Grand Canyon!”

Coworker #1: “Oh, my gosh, congratulations! That’s awesome! How long have you guys been together?”

Me: “Three years!”

Coworker #1: “Wow that’s a long time!”

Me: “Well, you know what they say, you either get married or you break up.”

Coworker #1: “Those are the two options.”

(Then our other coworker chimes in.)

Coworker #2: “Or there’s the third option, murder-suicide.”

Me: “…”

Coworker #1: “…”

Me: “Okay, backing away slowly.”