Maybe This Salesman Is As Green As Grass

(A lawn care salesman knocks on our door and my mom answers it.)

Salesman: “So… You probably know why I’m here.” *gestures to the front lawn, which has a patch or two of clover and some crabgrass*

Mom: *raising one eyebrow* “Excuse me?”

(The salesman launches into his pitch. After explaining his company a little bit:)

Salesman: “So, which company does your lawn?”

Mom: “We do.”

Salesman: “Really? Are you sure you don’t want professionals to take care of it? It’s not looking so great.”

Mom: “No, thank you.” *closes the door, turns to me* “Even if I did want a professional lawn care service, I wouldn’t want one that insulted me the moment I opened the door!”