Maybe It’s Time To Take A Break, Buddy

I’m on a medium-distance train, which has an at-seat trolley service of drinks and light refreshments available to buy. It’s about half an hour before the man with the trolley reaches my carriage and shouts out his sales pitch.

Man: “Hot and cold drinks! Sandwiches and crisps! Sweets and cake! Anybody for hot and cold drinks? Sandwiches and crisps? Sweets and cake?”

Me: “Hi! Can I have a cup of tea?”

Man: “Sorry, the water heater’s broken; I’ve not got any tea or coffee.”

Me: “Okay, can I have a can of [Drink]?”

Man: “I’m afraid not. I ran out of canned and bottled drinks at [Stop about an hour earlier in the train’s journey].”

Me: “Oh, no drinks? Okay, what sandwiches have you got?”

Man: “They didn’t put any on at [Departure Station], so there’s none today.”

Me: “Right. Crisps?”

Man: “Sold out.”

Me: “[Chocolate Bar]?”

Man: “Nope.”

Me: “Do you actually have anything?“

Man: *Looking confused* “Uh, erm… no, the trolley’s a bit empty, I’m afraid.”

Me: *Being very British about things* “Righty-oh, never mind, then. Thanks.”

Man: *Back to being bright again* “You’re welcome! Have a good journey!”

Man: *Shouting* “Hot and cold drinks! Sandwiches and crisps! Sweets and cake! Anybody for hot and cold drinks? Sandwiches and crisps? Sweets and cake?”

He came by again twice before I got off the train.