May Contain Scenes Of Gratuitous Bowie

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for this movie for my daughter: Pan’s Labyrinth. I heard it was very good.”

Me: “Yes, it was very good.”

Customer: “Do you think the girls would like it?”

Me: “I don’t know; how old are they?”

Customer: “Nine.”

Me: “Uh, ma’am, Pan’s Labyrinth isn’t really a kids’ movie. It’s about the Spanish Civil War.”

Customer: “The what?”

Me: “The Spanish Civil War. General Franco. There’s a scene where a man gets his face beaten in.”

Customer: “But in the previews, it looks like a kid’s movie, like that other movie with puppets.”

Me: “Do you mean Labyrinth?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “That may be a better choice. Trust me.”

Customer: *leaves*

Coworker: “I don’t know if David Bowie’s giant crotch is really safe for kids either…”