Mating Fall

(My husband and I are relaxing one evening on the couch, chit-chatting here and there. Then, suddenly, I let out an impressive — no less than five seconds — belch. My husband gives me a look, trying not to laugh.)

Me: *without missing a beat* “It’s my mating call.”

Husband: *bursts out laughing*

Me: *laughs with him* “Answer me, d*** it!”

Husband: *lets out the most pathetic little burp*

Me: “You’re lucky your plumage is acceptable.”