Massaging The Numbers

, , , , | Right | November 15, 2018

(Our massage chain requires a credit, debit, or gift card to hold the appointment if you don’t have a membership, as there is a charge for same-day cancellation.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I have you scheduled for [appointment details]. I just need to put a card on file to hold the appointment.”

Customer: “I don’t have a credit card.”

Me: “That’s fine; we can hold it with a debit card or a [Massage Chain] gift card.”

Customer: “My girlfriend has my debit card; she took it with her.”

Me: “Okay. Unfortunately, the system will only let me save the appointment for an hour without a card on file. Can you call her and get the number by then?”

Customer: “Oh, I have the card number. It’s [ten-digit number].”

Me: “Sir, I do need the rest of the card number. I can’t hold the appointment without it.”

Customer: “Okay, sorry. It’s [same ten-digit number].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that isn’t a card number. I need the sixteen-digit number from the front of your card, and the expiration date.”

Customer: “I don’t have a credit card!”

Me: “That’s perfectly fine, sir. Your debit card will work.”

Customer: “But my girlfriend has the card! I have the account and routing number!”

(I know that some places can bill from the account, but our system doesn’t allow it. It will only accept a card number. Even knowing this, I check with my boss, who confirms that we cannot hold it with the account number.)

Me: “I’m sorry; the system won’t allow me to input that number. There just isn’t a field to type it in. I can only hold it with the card number, which I know your girlfriend has with her. You can call her to get the card number, or wait for her to get home and see if the appointment is still open.”

Customer: “I found it! Here the card number. It’s [same ten-digit number].”

Me: “Sir, I can’t use the account number. It just simply is not an option. Why don’t you call me back when you have the card number?”

(He calls back ten minutes later. There is now a regular customer in the lobby waiting for her appointment.)

Customer: “Okay, I have the card number. It’s [same ten-digit number, with six extra digits on the end].”

(I try to type it in, anyway, expecting it to not work.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that isn’t a valid card number.”

Customer: “It has sixteen digits! You said it needed sixteen digits!”

Me: “I did, but you can’t just take the account number and add digits to it; I need the whole card number from the front of the card.”

Customer: “But my girlfriend has the card!”

Me: “I understand that, sir, and I’ve tried to find several options that will work for you. It sounds like you just need to call me back once she gets home with the card.”

(I finally get him off the phone. The regular, who has tears in her eyes from laughing, comes up to the desk.)

Regular: “See, this is why I can’t work in customer service. I would have been swearing halfway through that call!”

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