Masculinity So Small It Can Fit In A Purse

(I’m at the host stand at the end of the night, so it’s not busy. A man walks by carrying a purse.)

Customer: *pointing to bag* “This isn’t mine, I promise!”

Me: “You stole someone’s purse?!”

Customer: “No, no! It’s my girlfriend’s.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m sure it is.”

(Just before closing time, I see the man leaving with some other people.)

Customer: *points to woman he’s with* “It was her bag, I swear!”

Me: “Right, of course.”