Mary Contrary
Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], and I’ll be your waiter this evening. Can I get you started on drinks?”
Customer: “I’ll get the bellini, please!”
Me: “Of course!”
I get the other drink orders in, ask about allergens, and then bring the drinks out.
Customer: “What’s that?”
Me: “That’s your bellini.”
Customer: “Why is it orange?”
Me: “Uh, it’s the peach puree.”
Customer: “Wait! There’s peach in this? I’m allergic to peach!”
Me: “Ma’am, Bellinis are traditionally made with peach. I can offer you a mango bellini if you’d prefer.”
Customer: “Yuck. I don’t like mango. I thought Bellinis were a type of Prosecco!”
Me: “Prosecco and peach.”
Customer: “Okay, whatever. I’ll have a Bloody Mary. That sounds fun.”
Me: “And it’s just peach you’re allergic to?”
Customer: “Yes!”
I bring her out her Bloody Mary.
Customer: “What’s that?”
Sigh, here we go again.
Me: “That’s your Bloody Mary.”
Customer: “Why is it red?”
Me: “That’s the tomato.”
Customer: “Eww! Why would they put a tomato into a drink? That’s disgusting!”
Me: “The ‘blood’ in the Bloody Mary comes from the tomato, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, I’m not drinking that, that’s disgusting!”
Me: “Ma’am, maybe it would be easier if you told me the kinds of drinks you usually like, and I could bring you one of those?”
Customer: “Ugh! Just bring me a pineapple juice.”
Me: “And you’re not allergic to pineapples? And you like the taste of them?”
Customer: “What a stupid question! I’d have to be a complete idiot to order something that I’m allergic to or I didn’t like!”
Me: “Of course, ma’am. You are correct.”
She got her pineapple juice and didn’t take a single sip the entire meal. Customers baffle me.
