Their Customer Service Is B(leak)

(I live on the top floor of the building. I am awakened one morning by the sound of running water. It’s been stormy, and the roof is leaking… well, gushing water. I put a trash can under it and call maintenance.)

Me: “There’s water pouring through the ceiling.”

Maintenance: “We’re really busy right now. Someone will come by today or tomorrow.”

Me: “I’ve emptied the trash can under the leak twice in the last 15 minutes. I really think you should send someone soon, please.”

Maintenance: “It’s not an emergency. Put a trash can under it.”

Me: “I did that! And it fills up in less than 10 minutes! This isn’t a drip-drip-drip leak. It’s Niagara Falls!”

Maintenance: “Someone will come by in a day or so. Leave the trash can under it.”

Me: “I shall do that. And now I’m leaving for work. By the way, you might want to contact the people in [address of apartment below me], because I expect my bedroom will be dropping through the soaking floor into their bedroom sometime this afternoon.”

Maintenance: “Oh, my goodness! Someone will be right out!”

Me: “Thank you!”