Many Hats, But An Empty Head

(We were having a sale on used DVDs. The price reductions were delayed in the computer system download, so we had to re-price every item manually. A customer came up with several used movies for purchase.)

Me: “All right, sir, your total is $249.75.”

Customer: “What? Did you miss some? I added it up, it should be more.”

Me: *after checking* “No, sir. We’re in the middle of doing our price changes, so all the movies you have that are marked $12.99 each are actually marked down to $9.99 each.”

Customer: “What? That’s illegal. The price sticker has to have the correct price on it.”

Me: “Sir, as I said, we’re in the process of re-stickering all of the DVDs. The 25 movies you’re buying are actually cheaper than you thought they would be.”

Customer: “But they’re priced wrong. That’s illegal.”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you we are doing nothing illegal, and if you’d like–”

Customer: “It is illegal! I’M A LAWYER!”

Me: “Okay… I can adjust the price so that the movies are all $12.99 instead of $9.99 if you’re really angry about saving $75.00. Is that what you want me to do?”

Customer: “Well, no.”

Me: “What would you like me to do then?”

Customer: “I think I should get some free movies.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not giving you any free movies.”

Customer: “I’m a lawyer. It’s illegal. You need to give me five free movies or I’m calling the authorities.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not giving you anything for free. As it is, you thought the price of these DVDs was much more than it turned out to be, so you’re already getting a deal…”

Customer: “I don’t care. This is horrible service! This is no way to run a business. If I ran my restaurant this way, I’d be out of business!”

Me: “So, are you a lawyer or a restauranteur?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Would you like to pay for the movies, or would you like me to cancel the sale?”

Customer: *hands over credit card*