Manufacturing Rants

(We are a manufacturing company making products for customers who install them for clients. One of our oldest, but smallest customers is obnoxious and constantly complains about things that happened months or even years ago. Our owners hate him and refuse to talk to him. Everybody else hates him, too. Why they haven’t dropped him, I have no idea. This is a series of conversations I had with him this week. I’m in accounting but also do shipping notices. Wednesday:)

Order Entry Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], [Customer] is on line one.”

Me: *mild swearing*

Order Entry Coworker: *laughter from order entry as she puts them through*

Me: “Hi, [Customer], how can I help you?”

Customer: “My order came wrong! You screwed up.”

(Cue a long rant about our products and how, when our company was started two decades ago, he warned the owner he couldn’t play games or he’d go out of business, and if he doesn’t fix everything we’ll soon go out of business.)

Me: “I’m sorry about that, but I can’t help you; I’m the accountant. I’ll give you to production to reorder it.”

(I put the customer on hold and turn to the order entry coworker:)

Me: “Why did you vote me as the sacrifice?”

(Friday morning:)

Me: *to customer’s voicemail* “Hi, [Customer], we will be delivering [order] next week. I don’t need a call back, so have a good day.”

(I’m thinking, “Please don’t call me back. Please don’t call me back.” Two hours later:)

Me: “Hi, [Customer], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Your invoice still hasn’t come from my delivery six weeks ago!”

Me: “I’m sorry, it came back here. I’ve sent it back out in the mail. I wish you had email or fax; we’d be able to avoid these problems, then.”

Customer: “No, I don’t do any of that new stuff like fax! I don’t understand why my mail didn’t come.” *cue a long rant about the postal system* “Now, this delivery for next week — where is my other [products from Wednesday] order? We talked about this. Why isn’t it on next week’s truck?”

Me: “That was only reordered on Wednesday; there is a rush on it, but it still takes three weeks to make, minimum.”

Customer: “Fine! Don’t send my delivery next week. This is for the same client and there’s no point giving part to them!”

Me: “Okay. I’ll put it back in the drawer for later.”

Customer: “Good. I’ll call you back next week to talk about its status.”

Me: “I’m accounting; I can’t do anything related to production status. You need to talk to production.”

Customer: “Well, we’ll talk more about it Monday.” *click*

(I’m going to be sick Monday, I think.)