Man’s Best Friend Is Grandma’s Worst Enemy

(My grandparents are watching me and my sisters for a week while my parents are out of town. My grandma is not a big fan of dogs, and we happen to have one. My friend, who coincidentally shares the same name as my dog, comes over to my house.)

Me: “[Friend], do you want a cookie?”

Grandma: “No! Don’t give her a cookie! She doesn’t deserve one!”

(My friend and I are both very confused and taken aback by the fact that my grandma refuses to let my friend have a cookie. My sister is walking down the stairs, and after hearing the exchange, she figures out what happened.)

Sister: “Grandma, her friend and the dog are both named [Friend/Dog].”

Grandma: “Oh, I thought you were talking about the dog! [Friend] the human can have a cookie.”

(The cookies are chocolate chip.)

Sister: “[Dog] the dog couldn’t have had one anyway. Chocolate can severely harm dogs.”

Grandma: “Really? Then give the dog the whole plate!”