Managing The Calls Without A Manager

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2018

(I work apparel at big box store. When someone calls the store, it is the fitting room person’s job to answer it.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you today?”

(The caller is a woman with one of those horrible, deep, scratchy, heavy smoker’s voices.)

Caller: “I was in there trying on clothes, and the worker looked under the door at me.”

Me: *looking at the quarter-inch space between the door and the floor* “Ma’am, it’s not possible for someone to look at someone under the door. There’s not enough space.”

Caller: “Yes, they did! They said I had hairy chicken legs!”

Me: “Would you like to speak to a manager? Please hold.”

(I put the call on hold and ask a manager to take the call. Before he can get to a phone, though, she hangs up. Later, I answer the phone again. It’s the same caller as before:)

Caller: “I was in there earlier, and when I got home, there was a box of condoms with my groceries, but I didn’t buy them!”

Me: “Were you charged for them on your receipt?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “All right, just bring them back with your receipt to the service desk, and you should be able to get you money back.”

Caller: “I can’t, because…”

(I can’t make out what she says.)

Me: “Let me transfer you to the service desk.”

(At this point, I’m thinking that this was quite an eventful trip to the store. I tell one of my coworkers about these calls.)

Coworker: “She called earlier, and said she found a pink sex toy in the bathroom.”

(Later, she calls back.)

Caller: “I was in there earlier trying on underwear, and the employee looked under the door and saw me naked!”

Me: “That is not possible for two reasons: one, we do not allow customers to try on underwear, and two, it is not possible to see under the doors. Would you like to speak to a manager?”

(The caller hangs up. The person calls back several times a day for about a week, complaining about one of those three things. As soon as we ask if she wants to speak to a manager, she hangs up. After a while, whenever we see her number on the caller ID, we start answering the phone:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. Let me transfer you.”

(Some coworkers would transfer her to the service desk, but I would usually transfer her to the deli, because their phone was broken and they couldn’t answer it. She’d usually let it ring a few times before she hung up. I started called her “crazy condom lady.”)

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