Management Is Like Walking A Tight-(G)rope

(I’m working the evening shift. The head waiter in another section of the restaurant tells me there’s a problem with some customer harassing the waitresses. I offer to switch places. The offending customer is quickly spotted; he is busy groping a waitress as I walk in.)

Me: “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask that you stop doing that. We’re trying to work here.”

(The customer grumbles, clearly irritated. I walk off, thinking it’s resolved. Five minutes later, I watch as a waitress comes to the customer’s table to put down some food, and the customer reaches out for the waitress’ behind. I jump between them.)

Me: “Sir, I already told you to stop it. You didn’t listen the first time. I’m now going to ask you to leave the restaurant.”

Customer: “I demand to see a manager!”

(I’m just a waiter, but I take a chance.)

Me: “That would be me. Now as I told you, the only solution I see is you leaving the restaurant.”

Customer: “I’m not going anywhere!”

Me: “No, you’re coming with me to the front right now. You’re going to pay for your meal and leave!”

(The customer is still refusing. With the aid of another waiter, we pull the customer out of his seat and bring him to the front, where he finally pays. The rest of his party are horribly embarrassed.)

Manager: “Yeah, I need to see you about something. You pretended to be a manager?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I—”

Manager: “I heard the story. That guy got off easy! I’m glad you managed to make him pay for his food!”