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Management Abhors A Vacuum

, , , | Working | February 22, 2018

(Our store has just closed for the night, and my manager has ordered me to vacuum the store with our old canister vacuum. After a long false start, I approach my manager.)

Me: “I’m having a problem with the vacuum cleaner.”

Manager: “What is it?”

Me: “I’ve got absolutely no suction. I’m running the head all along the carpet and I can’t pick up anything. Even the lightest little piece of dust doesn’t move when I run the vacuum over it. I’ve checked the connections and all along the hose, but I can’t find any break in the seal or anything. I’m really not sure what to do now.”

Manager: “Just finish vacuuming.”

Me: *pause* “But the vacuum doesn’t work. It can’t pick anything up.”

Manager: “I know. Just vacuum, anyway.”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(I spend fifteen minutes running the vacuum head over every exposed inch on the floor, picking up absolutely nothing. As I’m finishing and putting the vacuum away, my manager looks at the floor and says:)

Manager: “Good job.”

(I get paid the same whether the vacuum worked or not, so if this is what the manager wants, that’s what she gets.)

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