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Malicious Protection

, , , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Tacticool_Hotdog | October 24, 2022

I work as a train conductor for [Company] in Finland. My job includes making sure there are no disturbances on the train, as well as keeping an eye on everyone having tickets. I am usually pretty lenient on this if you have a good reason or a funny enough excuse. Hey, sometimes life kicks you in the head and you really, really have to be somewhere.

I am doing ticket rounds on a late-evening train. Out of the corner of my eye, I see two teenagers, maybe fifteen or sixteen, switch seats. That’s okay, and I think no more of that… until a few minutes later when I come to their compartment in order to check their tickets and hear their particular excuse. There are six teenagers in total. Every single one of them is pretending to be asleep. People try this every now and then, but this is the first time I’ve seen someone try it after making eye contact.

I just kind of chuckle and say, “Nice try,” loud enough for the rest of the compartment to hear. The teenagers feign ignorance and say they were trying to catch a bit of sleep. I also notice that they’re carrying alcohol with them. They’re off to a bad start. I ask for the tickets. This is when I hear a myriad of excuses.

[Friend]’s mom has the tickets. Nobody has a working phone on them. When they get the battery charged, [Friend]’s mom doesn’t care and hangs up. They actually went the wrong way first.

You get the point by now.

They finally drop the act and start pleading for a free ride. They even try to bribe me with 10€, to which I reply:

Me: “The next time you try to bribe someone, here’s a little heads-up: don’t do it in front of a dozen witnesses.”

The other passengers are having a blast so far.

In a last-ditch effort, the teenagers bring up the fact that they are, in fact, underage and I am technically in charge of keeping them safe. Here’s the thing: I have to be really careful now because, the law being what it is, I could be held accountable if I drop them off somewhere without supervision and something happens to them.

Here comes the malicious compliance. I finally “relent”.

Me: “I’ll let you go as far as the next station where you can still buy tickets with that bit of cash you have.”

Then, I leave and continue to do my job. Now, as I have to keep them safe, I am naturally worried about underage drinking on their part, as well. That stuff rots the brain and hinders the development of these beautiful young children! So, I arrange for security and police to meet them at the next station.

As they jump off the train, I hear one of the teenagers say:

Teenager: “Man, we really managed to bulls*** that one!”

Naturally, I directed the impressive amount of nothing-better-to-do-right-now security and police officers to the teenagers. I’ve never seen anyone get as pure of an “Oh, s***!” expression as those kids right then.

Their drinks were confiscated and destroyed, and each of them was shipped home to have a meeting with their guardians, the police, and possibly even Child Protective Services if this was a recurring problem. Fines could be slapped, as well.

Moral(s) of the story: Be honest. And under no circumstance tell me to keep you safe, because I will keep you safe.

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