Making Tall Assumptions

(I’ve been tall all my life so I’m always mistaken as older. I’m used to it. My wife and I are grocery shopping and she goes off to another aisle to get something. The youngest my wife has ever been mistaken for is 19.)

Stranger: “Your daughter doesn’t look much like you.”

Me: “She’s not my daughter.”

Stranger: “Oh. Sister?”

Me: “No, she’s my wife.”

Stranger: *appalled* “You’re not old enough to be married!”

Me: “But I’m old enough to have a kid her age?”

Stranger: “Well… I guess not… But you’re so tall, so you must be older. And the pink hair, but that means you’re younger. Wait, then that means you’re gay. You’re not old enough to be gay!”

(I just rolled my eyes and walked away. I wonder what the stranger would have thought about the wine I later bought. And for the record, my wife and I are both 26.)