Making A Mocha-ry Of Your Store

, , , | Right | September 6, 2017

(I work for a coffee shop that has the word “Mocha” in the name. The name is all over the inside of the shop, on the menus, the walls, and the merchandise. The following incidents happened on the same day to different people.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, do you guys sell mochas here?”

Coworker #1: “…yes, we do, indeed, sell mochas at [Shop With Mocha in the Name].”

Customer #1: “Good, I didn’t see it on your menu.”

(It’s literally the first item. Later:)

Customer #2: “Do you know how to make a Mocha Latte?”

Coworker #2: “I wouldn’t be working here at [Shop With Mocha in the Name] if I didn’t.”

Customer #2: “Well, you’re new here, and I need to make sure it’s made correctly.”

Coworker #2: “I’ve only been working here since the shop opened three years ago, so, yeah, I guess you can call that ‘new’.”

Customer #2: “Well, usually a young [slur] man makes it for me, and he seems to know what he’s doing. I’ll come back at another time when he’s here. I just don’t think you could make it right.”

Coworker #2: “It’s chocolate, espresso, and steamed milk… kind of hard to mess that one up.”

Customer #2: “That doesn’t sound right; you’ll mess it up. I’ll come back later.”

(Later:)

Customer #3: “Can I get a mocha…” *long pause* “…white mocha.”

Coworker #3: “Sure. What size would you like?”

Customer #3: “Large, but I only want half the amount of each type of syrup.”

Coworker #3: “A white mocha only comes with one type of syrup.”

Customer #3: “I want a MOCHA WHITE MOCHA! I want both types of mocha. How stupid can you be? I want…” *very slowly and drawn out* “—two pumps of DARK MOCHA and two pumps of WHITE MOCHA. So, only FOUR pumps of syrup. It is ridiculous that you can’t take a simple order. I don’t know what’s so hard about making a mocha white…”

Coworker #3: “Here’s your drink, ma’am, have a nice day.”

(Later:)

Customer #4: “Can I have a [specialty drink]?”

Coworker #4: “Sure. What size?”

Customer #4: *looks around nervously and whispers* “I don’t know the name for a small.”

Coworker #4: “…it’s ‘small.'”

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