Making His Parents Certifiable

(My six-year-old son has skipped school due to a bad cold. Later in the afternoon, when we go to school to pick up his big brother, we are met by my son’s classmates.)

Classmate: *to my six-year-old son* “Where were you today? Don’t you know you’re the ‘student of the month?'”

(My son starts grinning evilly.)

Son: “Wahahaha! Just as I thought! Did you hear that, Mommy? I’m student of the month and I was even absent! Wahahaha! These teachers are so easy!”

(My son lets out lots of annoying victory laughs all the way home. He started wearing the ‘student of the month’ pin on his chest ever so proudly. Then he made copies of his certificate and posted them all over the apartment: one on every door, another one right in front of the toilet bowl, and another one by the sink just so nobody missed his big news.)