Making A Blanket Statement About The Rest Of Your Lives

(My boyfriend is a born and raised Hawaiian. Being part of the military, his posts have put him in deserts. As you can imagine, therefore, it doesn’t take much to get him cold. He hasn’t been in Oklahoma for very long, either, so winter nights are always fun. I, on the other hand, get hot way too easily. To keep the bill low, he has elected to keep the AC and heater off and rely on blankets and fans. One night, I wake up shivering, which rarely happens. That’s when I notice all the blankets are bundled at his feet. I’m still groggy, so I pull at the blankets to no avail.)

Me: “Babe. Babe, share.”

Boyfriend: *mumbles something*

Me: “I can’t understand you, and I’m cold. Share the blankets.”

Boyfriend: “They’re for my toes.”

Me: *rolls eyes* “So, we’ll tuck them in again.”

Boyfriend: *turns and looks me in the eye, then speaks in a very stern voice* “This is just the way it has to be now.”

(He then turned back around and went back to snoring. I finally managed to wrangle the blankets from him, doing my best to not laugh too loudly. He doesn’t remember ever saying that, and I don’t intend to let him live it down any time soon.)