Making An Aft Of Oneself

I’m working on a large cruise ship. A passenger points to the elevators in the main atrium and asks:

Passenger: “Do those take me to the back of the ship?”

Me: “No, sir, they only go up and down.”

Passenger: *Pointing to a floor plan of this deck.* “But the front of the ship is up, and the back of the ship is down!”

Me: “That’s a floor plan, not a height chart. The elevators take you up and down, and you’ll need to walk if you want to go… uh… sideways.”

Passenger: *Angry.* “Well, you should let your bosses know that your passengers need elevators that can take you to the back and front!”

Me: “I will… pass on the suggestion, sir.”

The passenger nods with a triumphant ‘hmph’ and walks away. My coworker is laughing behind me.

Coworker: “So will you be putting in the request for the Wonkavators?”

Me: “Nah, just the turbolifts from Star Trek. Need to stay realistic.”