Making A Display Of Themselves

(I work in a department store selling shoes, where we keep the smallest size on display. We are often only sent one pair in each size, so it’s not uncommon for small-footed customers to ask for discounts on display shoes.)

Customer: “This shoe fits me perfectly, but it’s the display.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that is our only size six.”

Customer: “Well, can I get a discount?”

Me: “We only offer discounts on shoes with obvious defects or damage. These look fine to me, but if you don’t want to take the display I can order you a new pair.”

Customer: “So, there’s nothing you can do?”

Me: “I can treat them with leather lotion, which will solve any dryness or minor scuffs from being on display.”

(The customer narrows her eyes at me. She puts the toe of the shoe in her mouth and bites down, leaving obvious teeth marks in the leather.)

Customer: “How about now?”

(My manager, who has seen the whole thing, has walked up behind me.)

Manager: “Now you have to buy them. Full price.”

Customer: “But they’re damaged!”

Manager: “And I’m sure the police would love to hear how you purposefully gnawed on our merchandise. Shall we call them?”

(The customer hung her head, but quietly paid for the shoes. She hasn’t been in since.)